When a plot involves an angel mowing possessed people down with a machine gun while he protects a woman whose baby will somehow save the world, that movie better be so good that you are too caught up in it to think about logic or plot holes or it better be so bad that you enjoy it for its cheesy goodness. Sadly, Legion is neither good enough or bad enough to make it worth watching.
For an unspecified reason God has become upset with humanity and decided to wipe it out again. Obviously this is God in Old Testament, fire and brimstone mode because all that mamby-pampy Christianity is nowhere in sight. Instead of sending a flood this time though, God is feeling particularly blood-thirsty because he instead wants to send legions of Angels to wipe out humanity. The Arch-Angel Michael (Bettany) takes exception to God's plan and decides to try and stop him.
It's a good thing for humanity then that God has left a loophole in his plan. In a desert diner on a forgotten highway, a waitress is pregnant with a baby that has the power to save everyone. Just how and why are two questions this movie would rather you didn't ask. Suffice to say that if Michael can save this baby then somehow humanity will be safe.
Clearly what little budget this movie had went on the digital effects and to paying a very much slumming it Dennis Quaid's salary and not on locations or sets because (apart from one short scene at the beginning) the entire movie takes place at the diner.
To be honest I had little expectation going in to this, but I'd hoped that it would have enough action and eye-candy that I would enjoy it visually anyway. Sadly, there's a lot less action then you might expect. Far, far too much of the movie involves two or more of the inhabitants of the diner gathering off in a corner and having a melodramatic conversation. Just occasionally does it remember to throw in an action scene or two.
In several ways the story reminded me of The Terminator. Only instead of Reese going back in time to protect the mother of mankind's savior, this time it's an angel and the Terminator is another angel; Gabriel, and he doesn't show up until the last 15 minutes. So imagine a remake of The Terminator without the Terminator in most of it, where Sarah Conner never leaves the diner where she works, where how her son will save humanity is never explained, without any kind of romantic relationship and without as much action and you almost have this movie. Sounds good right?
I could talk about the illogical plot holes and how none of what happens makes very much sense, but it seems beside the point. I mean, the fact that God would have trouble killing a baby if he decided to kill a baby or the ludicrous idea that he would be constrained by some obscure rule about the baby being born isn't as important as the fact that the dialogue is bad, the acting not-so-good and the action too brief.
One thing that always occurs to me when I watch a movie like this is, do the filmmakers know how bad their movie is or did they actually watch it and think, "Damn that's good!"? It would take the faith of an Angel to believe that about this one.
