The Plot: A car salesman, Buddy, and his family move across the street from an uptight optometrist, Steve, and his wife and kids. Buddy is very insecure, for reasons never explained other than he looks like Danny DeVito. To compensate for that insecurity, he decides, "I want my house to be seen from space." So he fills his house and yard with Christmas lights. This annoys Steve and comedy is supposed to then ensue. None does.
Let me begin my critique by stating that I live in a state that gets snow, so this movie's special effects snow is about as obviously fake as it comes. People walk around without ever acting as if they are actually in cold weather. Of course the real giveaway is that no one's breath is visible in the cold air.
None of the attempts at jokes work. The movie opens with Steve with a patient. She says that glasses will make her look old. Steve then gets a pair of glasses out and hands them to her and the audience then sees that she is in fact old. Haha. She then puts the glasses on and says, "I look hot." Haha. The writing stinks worse than an unkempt manger. Although the theater was hardly packed no one laughed at all. So desperate to find a laugh the writer threw in a pink underwear wearing sheriff.
For a Christmas movie to work it has to contain one important element. The audience must be able to relate and feel an affinity for the characters. See A Christmas Story, It's a Wonderful Life, Jingle All the Way and even The Grinch for such an effect. Here we have Buddy who is married to a hot wife and has two hot daughters. They move into a very expensive house, yet he is unemployed. He and his wife discuss their debt yet he spends thousands of dollars on lights. He steals, vandalizes, disturbs the peace and forges his neighbor's signature. Why exactly should I root or care about this person?
Steve's only personality trait is that he is anal. As Chevy Chase proved in Christmas Vacation, being anal can work to funny effect. Broderick is just plain boring. Was Ferris Bueller a fluke? Does this guy have any charm left in him? He put me to sleep last year in The Producers and this year he once again proves to be the best cure for insomnia.
Deck the Halls almost has a moment, but the director didn't know what to do with it. Steve's wife is trying to make a point about the holidays by asking Steve about his best Christmas memory. Steve says that it was when he was a kid and he and his dad ate French fries and chocolate milk on the kitchen floor. Why did they do that? Why is that his best memory? The movie never brings it up again. The point Steve's wife is trying to make is that the best memories are spontaneous ones. There are none to be found in this movie.
