Well, all I can say is, “Thank god that's over with.” Has more money ever been spent on such a horrible series of movies before? And these are horrible movies. Sure, there are millions of people (Who am I kidding? Millions of women.) that enjoy them, but no number of fans, no matter how large, can turn a bad movie into a good one. Enjoyment of a movie doesn't automatically mean it was good.
As is the case with every other Twilight movie, there is barely any plot. And yet somehow, like all the other movies, it still manages to be 2 hours long. What there is of it this time around, goes something like this. Bella is now a vampire and married to Edward. Their daughter (she with the nauseating name, Renesmee) is a hybrid human/vampire who is growing at an accelerated rate. Another vampire sees Renesmee from a distance and mistakenly believes that she's in Interview with a Vampire and just spotted Claudia. As in that much better and actual vampire novel, the making of a child vampire is against vampire law and punishable by death. The Volturi clan decide to come to Forks and kill all of the Cullens for this crime. Only apparently they decide to walk from Italy to the state of Washington because the Cullens have time before they arrive to fly around the world picking up allies. All of this leads up to the finale, of which I'll get to in a minute.
The three stars reprise their usual performances. Pattinson, who has ridiculed the series in interviews, seems bored. Stewart, despite actually smiling occasionally, still looks sullen. And Lautner still has massive abs and a generous amount of charisma, even if he is stuck with a pedophile storyline that involves him being in love with Bella's daughter, although not, as he's quick to point out, in a creepy way. Lautner does provide the biggest (intentional) laugh when he reveals himself (in more ways than one) to Bella's father.
For a movie that makes so much money, very little of it seems to be spent on the actual making of it. The hair and makeup looks awful and jokey. What little special effects there are, look incredibly fake. Renesmee as a baby is the creepiest looking CGI thing I have ever seen. Although the Cullens are supposed to be traveling around the world, we don't see any exotic locales. This movie is a cash cow and none of the profits were wasted on making it look good.
Another thing this series has also always gotten wrong, is their treatment of vampires. In fact, although they use the term vampire, these are no relation to Dracula or Lestat. These are essentially just good looking, emo immortals, who in this installment get turned into The X-Men. Suddenly these “vampires” can control the elements, shoot electricity out of their bodies and create illusions. They're not vampires at all, just really boring superheroes.
So with nothing happening for most of the movie apart from building up to a massive vampire battle at the end, you'd expect it to be a doozy of a fight. To my surprise, it actually turns out to be a pretty epic (by this series' standards) battle. Major characters are killed. Heads are ripped off. The earth opens up, swallowing vampire and werewolf alike. Nothing is going to be the same after this one. And then, just when my movie-going juices were almost flowing, SPOILER ALERT, it all turns out to be a dream! Not the whole series. That's a nightmare. But just the final battle. It was only a “what might have been” ending predicted by the fortunetelling Alice.
With the guaranteed financial success of this installment, I can only hope and pray that the producers don't try and make another sequel that extends beyond the original books. Although to be honest, even if they do, I doubt that I'll go to see it. I really only went to see this one because I'd seen all of the others and having seen it, I feel as if I've discharged any responsibility I may have had to see it all the way to the end. Then again, maybe if they move away from the original source material they might be able to create something worth watching.
